Becoming a mum without family close by, I learnt first hand what modern motherhood, without a village, felt like and how much it asks of parents today. 

The sleep deprivation, the chores, the mental list that never stops running in your mind. The constant shift from “me” to “them.” I remember thinking I should be able to manage it all, be the perfect mum, partner, friend… oh and bake everything from scratch. 

Right? Even when I was exhausted.

For a long time, I carried everything quietly. Like so many women do.

The idea for Nena became clear years later when my best friend had her first baby. Visits to her place became me holding her baby whilst she showered. Folding washing while we talked on the play-mat. Quickly resetting the bathroom, wiping the sink, straightening the mirror, replacing the loo roll. Making her a cup of tea or snack and placing it gently in her hands. 

Effortlessly, seamlessly, without being asked. 

An innate nature to do the small things for her that had once felt so big to me. 

I realised, I could recognise what would ease her day, sometimes before she had the words for it.

Simply because I had lived it too.